Let's be real for a moment.
No one wants the house, the partner, the sweater, or the iphone because those things objectively are necessary.
We want them because we believe they will make us feel a certain way.
Our emotions motivate our decisions, dictate our shopping behaviour, fuel our dreams and goals, and can determine long-term success or failure.
Think about this for a second: remember that time you reached that goal or that milestone, and it didn't feel like you thought it would feel?
Maybe you graduated and got the job, but it felt empty.
Maybe you got to the wedding alter, and it didn't feel the way it was supposed to.
Maybe you bought the clothes you thought you were supposed to wear, and they didn't feel like you.
This is why understanding "feeling goals" or "internal goals" (as opposed to external goals) is of vital importance. WHY do you want what you want?
If you want an iphone so that people will respect you, maybe you need to find other ways to feel respect for yourself.
If you are avoiding a promotion because your feeling goal is freedom, maybe you should look at jobs and career paths that increase freedom instead of decreasing it.
If you want success in order to feel loved... well... there is a bit of cleaning up to do on the inside then, isn't there?
This is powerful and important work, and so necessary to find what really sparks joy for us all.